Why Can’t I Change These Money Thoughts?
You are starting to deeply dislike (OK, let’s face it – absolutely loathe!) your corporate job. You’ve been at it for ten years and your dissatisfaction continues to increase with each passing month. The endless meetings, unreasonable deadlines and ever-present politics are slowly driving you crazy!
For the last few years now, you’ve dreamed about starting a side business, and have even bought a domain name and set up an email account. But, after a few small steps your efforts always stall when your old money thoughts creep into your mind. Thoughts like:
“You’d better hang onto that good, steady paycheck and ride the gravy train for as long as it lasts!”
“How are you going to pay your medical bills if you have to buy your own insurance?”
“You have kids that are going to want to go to college someday. Better not risk their financial future!”
Intellectually, you know there are a ton of great reasons to start a side business, and the prospect of working another 30 or 40 years in corporate scares the hell out of you; but you can’t seem to overcome the negative chatter in your mind. Why is it that some thoughts are easier to overcome than others?
Some Thoughts Stir Deep, Negative Emotions
Life coach Brooke Castillo has pioneered the CTFAR Model, to help her clients untangle the web of negative thinking that can paralyze us and keep us from accomplishing the things we know will make a meaningful difference in our lives. In summary, the CTFAR (Circumstances, Thoughts, Feelings, Actions, Results) Model is:
- Each of the Circumstances you have in your life leads to Thoughts;
- These Thoughts lead to Feelings;
- Feelings often cause us to take certain Actions;
- And finally, these Actions create our Results.
Thoughts that kick off deep, negative emotions such as fear are often hard to overcome. Each of the three example thoughts above are often accompanied by deep seated fears. When I was thinking those very same thoughts while trying to get up the nerve to leave my corporate job, I was:
Afraid that if I failed in business I’d never recover and die penniless.
Afraid that my (parents, wife, friends) would stop loving/approving of me if I gave up a “great” job to chase a dream.
Afraid that I wouldn’t do my duty as a parent to provide for my kids the same way my parents provided for me and I’d ruin their lives in the process.
In an upcoming post, I will talk about the methods that worked for me to overcome these thoughts as well as offer suggestions for other methods I know have worked for others.
All of us eventually have to face the thoughts and ultimately the fears that are holding us back if we want to genuinely move forward with our lives. What money thoughts are holding you back? DM me with what you’re working on right now. I’d love to chat with you about it!